I’ve been to many fun places, but my favorite one was my trip to China.

The excitement started when we were heading for the plane. My mom and I both knew it was going to be a long ride. We were on it for TWELVE HOURS STRAIGHT.

At the end of the flight, I wasn’t feeling so good and I threw up. Luckily, they have paper bags on the plane. When we got off the plane, my relatives were waiting for us! I threw my hands around all of them.

A few days later, my mom surprised me by saying I was going to ride a train from Beijing to Shanghai and visit many cities around Shanghai. I was smiling ear to ear.

On the train to Shanghai, I threw up again. The hotel my mother and I went to in Shanghai was very expensive, but it was worth it. After two days in Shanghai, we drove to Suzhou. We stayed at a hotel called Holiday Inn and the manager gave me a bag of treats. After two days in Suzhou, we went to an ancient city called Wuzhen. Although the town was small, I had plenty of fun there. After two days in Wuzhen, I rode back to Beijing.

I spent my last few days in China with my grandparents.

Finally, it was time for our flight back to home (I threw up on the plane again.) Even though I was sad to leave China, I still miss my dad and my sister who didn’t come with me. And plus, my grandparents were riding along and staying with us for half an year. What could possibly go wrong?!

FEEDBACK:

Wow ! What  trip! It sounds like you had fun but you also learned that you value your entire family, including your father and sister who could not make the trip. You did an excellent job with your sentence structure and your punctuation . You are a terrific writer! Keep up the fantastic work. Can’t wait to see you in class.

Mrs. Ayala